Being remade…and a song I wrote about it
“I was missing a key component- relationship.” ~JulieR Harris
I used to live my life so unaware
I didn’t know You or that You’d care
About my thoughtless sin and casual lies
until the day You opened up my eyes
and the moment I knew what I’d done
the price had already been paid by Your Son
May I never forget what You’ve done
May I never forget who I was
before You changed me and made me new
You were there all along when I couldn’t see
By Your grace, You’ve remade me
Now that I know what You want from me
Help me, make me who I need to be
You know I can’t do this on my own
So I lay my burdens down before Your throne.
I give You everything that I am
I surrender to Your every plan.
And You’ve given me a reason to sing
Lord, I give You my everything.
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In the middle
“… I heard a voice calling…”
The Peace of Jesus
“Saying yes to peace and saying yes to Him” ~JH
when strife comes my way
all I have to say is “yes”
to His perfect peace
Sometimes I can feel the storms brewing between my two girls. You know the warning signs… their talking gets a little faster, the volume becomes slightly elevated and higher in pitch…a door slams, and then the yelling ensues. I can sense the changing winds, and sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any way for me to stop the inevitable storms from taking over my house.
And then I hear-
The three of us were busy getting the house in tip top shape, and these little storms kept brewing. I went from one room to the other, aiding each daughter with their chores. Having played referee one too many times, I was quickly reaching the end of my rope.
And then Jesus found me.
I had knelt down on the dining room…
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Hungry, I come to You
“He is always right here, right now.
His gift to us-
He is always present, always ready to fill our cups!”
Running on Dunkin’
at the end of my own strength
is where I find Him
After my morning cup o’love, I hesitantly got on the treadmill this morning. It’s not my favorite thing to do, but I know it’s good for me-mentally, physically and emotionally.
Sometimes I forget that it is good for me spiritually, too. Whenever I chose to make Him my focus, whatever I do becomes an act of worship! I began my pace slow and steady- and as my worship tunes played on, I began to feel fatigued. I prayed for His strength to keep going.
What am I running towards?
“Hungry, I come to You, for I know You satisfy…”
I found myself singing as I ran. I could almost feel Him lifting my arms as the steady pounding of my feet rhythmically fell in time to the music. On that treadmill to nowhere, I was…
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When Joy Seems Hard to Find
“The true joy of the Christmas season and every season in between.”
The grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. -Dr. Suess, How the Grinch Stole Chistmas
Usually Christmas brings me much joy each year. By the end of November, I have my tree up, my shopping is done, the gifts are wrapped, and I am ready for Christmas music, lights, and festivities.
This year? Not so much. This year I have been somewhat of a Christmas grinch. Not really sure why the usual joy I have for the season has been replaced with the mood and attitude of Scrooge, and a cloud of perpetual gloom, that began long before the season ever did.
Back in the fall I made the decision to leave my part-time job in order to focus on my studies as a counseling student, my ministry, and my work in the evenings with teens and families in the…
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“Even when I have waited far too long to drink His water, when I know that my “bed” is dry- it’s never too late.”
I do not have a thumb of green-
I have a thumb of death.
Every living plant we’ve had-
I’ve choked it of its breath.
O how I wish I could preserve
this beauty’s crimson hue
But tossing out its blackened husk
Is likely what I’ll do.
My track record of keeping plants alive is pretty dismal. My husband says I have a thumb of death. To this date, I have been unable to keep anything that grows alive- except for my children, of course! Every year my husband brings home a beautiful poinsettia from his office. The one he brought home this year is so big, it’s actually wider than our Christmas tree! The blooms are simply gorgeous. But I am already having pity on this poor plant because of my horrible track record.
But like all growing things- a little TLC goes a long way. The…
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The Power of God and Intimacy of Worship
I sat with my eyes closed and listened to music and words lifting up the name of Jesus. I was a part of a circle formed by others who had come together seeking the heart of God and we had certainly found it.
The presence of the Lord held us as if the walls were His arms and the chairs we sat on was His lap. We continued to sing and worship and enjoy Him. He continued to encounter us with a mighty outpouring of His love.
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“The less I focus on me-
the greater my focus is on “He”
Such an awesome view point!!!
When everything is stripped away
exposed for all to see
When all the rustling leaves are gone
it’s simply just a tree
How beautiful His radiance
and endless glories shine
right through these spindly branches
straight into this heart of mine
I admit that I am a fan of pretty things. I also use these pretty things to hide myself quite often. As pretty as the fall foliage was, the bare trees are just as beautiful- and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that His light shines through more clearly when the trees are stripped of their beauty.
It is so easy for me to get caught up in my insecurities about my weight, or other silly things- and at times it can become an obsession. It is a vicious cycle, one I pray about often.
The past few days, I have felt like that spindly tree…exposed before Him…
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What Do They See?
When my kids look at me, what do they see?
Do they see the things I tend to believe about myself? My self-hatred. My insecurities. The lies I allow myself to believe. Or, do they see a woman who believes she is wanted, cherished, loved, brave, and beautiful? Do they see the woman God sees?
When my kids witness me in action, what do they see?
A woman always questioning if God will show up, or one whose faith is unwavering? Do they witness the prayers of a weary mom, or do they see the control freak who thinks she has it all figured out?
When my kids hear me, what do they hear?
Do they hear words of encouragement for them and others, or do they hear groans of judgment and condemnation? Do they hear words of love for all those I encounter?
When my children watch me, what…
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The Last to Fall
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens- Ecclesiastes 3”
some foliage may leap
at the first sign of autumn
while others will tarry
before hitting bottom
The leaves yet to fall
get a bird’s eye view
a forecasting of all
they’re jumping into
Growing up, I often felt like an outcast. Tall, overweight, pimply and awkward. I was quite frequently the last one picked in school to be on any team of any kind. One perks of not being “chosen” first was that I was able to observe and take in the scene- I have always loved people-watching!
As I was out walking the other day, I noticed fields of gold crumpled leaves on the ground. Almost all of them had already fallen, but there were just a few still clinging to the branches. It was a beautiful sight. And it all reminded me that there is a season for everything… and that every dying leaf will eventually…
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